April intention + life update🪷

My time in Rome is winding down. We’re at T-41 days and my heart breaks a little bit writing that. I think for the past two or so years, anytime I’ve felt happy I’ve also gotten a little bit sad, expecting the other shoe to drop as it had so many times before. Whether that meant a break before heading into the next phase of cancer treatment, or smooth sailing at school only to enter a drawn out “funk” that painted a semester with a streak of grey. However, I can confidently say the last three months of my life have felt like an absolute dream. On my morning walk to school today, I took a moment to ground myself in the present and really take it all in. I’m going to miss my morning walks so much. But the temporary is what make things so beautiful isn’t it? That nothing lasts forever? The good and the bad, they both pass. My intention this month is to soak up as many of these moments as I can, enraptured in the present.

As I plan my summer and shift my gaze forward to what’s to come: I remind myself that life isn’t about racing to the next finish line. A lot of times we do this thing that goes: I’ll be happy when I get to point X. Or I’ll feel freedom if I can achieve Y. It’s almost a natural instinct to place our gratification just beyond what we can see in front of us. The truth is, all we have is now. X and Y can bring momentary bliss but they won’t fulfill what we all crave deep down: which is fulfillment in the present.

Next time you’re goal setting/ timeline making/ finish-line placing, I invite you to pause and ask yourself: what can I do to make myself happy in this moment (that day/ week/ phase of life). Instead of pouring your energy into beautifying an imaginary future, what can you shift to make your NOW beautiful.

After all, the now is all we really got!!!!!!

Xo,

M